Life According to Hanione

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

TV-on-DVD

I hate TV. I hate commercials (except for Geico and pork). I hate reality TV (even though I admit to watching and enjoying the first season of Survivor, back when the reality concept was still a novel idea...and I do occasionally drown the pangs of guilt and watch What Not to Wear). I hate sitcoms (even though I like Seinfeld, mostly because my old housemate Jeff, who is now a dentist, reminds me of Kramer). Most of all, I hate the fact that you can waste a whole evening flipping channels, hoping to find something good, and absorbing nothing except a desire for products and a lifestyle that doesn't really exist.

So, 3steak and I don't have cable TV, or rabbit ears, or anything. However, we do have a TV, a DVD player, and a healthy dose of hypocrisy. Why, you ask? Because we like TV shows.

We've been addicted to 24, CSI, Lost, House, and Alias. Once, during the second season of 24, we drove back to Blockbuster at 11 PM because we absolutely had to know whether Jack was going to be able to stop the terrorists. We blew through the equivalent of 3 months of quality TV programming in one weekend. Yeah, this stuff can be addicting.

The only problem with our little TV-on-DVD system is that we're always a year behind everyone else. We have to remind our friends not to spoil end-of-season twists. After we finished the first season of Lost, our friend Brandon, who was watching season 2 on TV, remarked, "Wow, they're killing off characters you haven't even met yet!" If you're one of those people who always has to have the latest and greatest thing, TV-on-DVD is not for you. Being behind all the time will kill you.

If you can put up with always being in the dark, TV-on-DVD has some undeniable perks. The best part is not having commercials. In addition to not being annoyed, you also don't have to break the suspense by hearing about the new GMC professional grade or how Huggies stop more leaks. You get more carried away by the story line. Sometimes this can be a bit much, like when you find yourself hugging your legs and sweating, but in general, TV is more fun when it feels like a 3-hour movie.

So, there you have it: my little treatise on the merits of TV-on-DVD. I highly recommend it, just don't tell me if Jack and Tony stay friends and go back to CTU, who the Others are, if House really needs Vicadin, what Michael Vaughn's real name is, or whether Grissom will lose his hearing and his job.