German Insults

My friends Josh and Heather moved to Germany last summer so that Josh could take a job with Mercedes-Benz. 3steak and I saw them when we visited Germany in July. At that time, Josh was just starting to get the hang of his German language skills. Apparantly, he's progressing quite well because he recently shared four ways to insult someone in the regional Schwabish dialect. So, next time you want to start a bar fight, just bust out one of these bad boys:

Warmduscher - "One who can only take a warm shower"
Schattenparker - "One who only parks in the shade"
Weichei - " Soft Egg"
Beckenrendschwimmer - "One who can only swim on the shallow side of the pool"

Twelve Days of Catmas

To be sung to the tune of "The 12 Days of Christmas"

On the first day of Catmas, my cat annoys me...she's:
Climbing up the Christmas tree.

On the second day of Catmas, my cat annoys me...she's:
Dropping needles on the floor,
and climbing up the Christmas tree.

On the third day of Catmas, my cat annoys me...she's:
Hiding treasures in her litter,
Dropping needles on the floor,
and climbing up the Christmas tree.

On the fourth day of Catmas, my cat annoys me...she's:
Begging in the kitchen,
Hiding treasures in her litter,
Dropping needles on the floor,
and climbing up the Christmas tree.

On the fifth day of Catmas, my cat annoys me...she's:
Shedding all the time,
Begging in the kitchen,
Hiding treasures in her litter,
Dropping needles on the floor,
and climbing up the Christmas tree.

On the sixth day of Catmas, my cat annoys me...she's:
Meowing for her breakfast,
Shedding all the time,
Begging in the kitchen,
Hiding treasures in her litter,
Dropping needles on the floor,
and climbing up the Christmas tree.

On the seventh day of Catmas, my cat annoys me...she's:
Shredding up the ribbons,
Meowing for her breakfast,
Shedding all the time,
Begging in the kitchen,
Hiding treasures in her litter,
Dropping needles on the floor,
and climbing up the Christmas tree.

On the eighth day of Catmas, my cat annoys me...she's:
Hiding from our guests,
Shredding up the ribbons,
Meowing for her breakfast,
Shedding all the time,
Begging in the kitchen,
Hiding treasures in her litter,
Dropping needles on the floor,
and climbing up the Christmas tree.

On the ninth day of Catmas, my cat annoys me...she's:
Drinking from my glass,
Hiding from our guests,
Shredding up the ribbons,
Meowing for her breakfast,
Shedding all the time,
Begging in the kitchen,
Hiding treasures in her litter,
Dropping needles on the floor,
and climbing up the Christmas tree.

On the tenth day of Catmas, my cat annoys me...she's:
Chewing on the presents,
Drinking from my glass,
Hiding from our guests,
Shredding up the ribbons,
Meowing for her breakfast,
Shedding all the time,
Begging in the kitchen,
Hiding treasures in her litter,
Dropping needles on the floor,
and climbing up the Christmas tree.


On the eleventh day of Catmas, my cat annoys me...she's:
Scratching up the furniture,
Chewing on the presents,
Drinking from my glass,
Hiding from our guests,
Shredding up the ribbons,
Meowing for her breakfast,
Shedding all the time,
Begging in the kitchen,
Hiding treasures in her litter,
Dropping needles on the floor,
and climbing up the Christmas tree.

On the twelfth day of catmas, my cat annoys me...she's:
Playing soccer with the ornaments,
Scratching up the furniture,
Chewing on the presents,
Drinking from my glass,
Hiding from our guests,
Shredding up the ribbons,
Meowing for her breakfast,
Shedding all the time,
Begging in the kitchen,
Hiding treasures in her litter,
Dropping needles on the floor,
and climbing up the Christmas tree.