To the Bride and Groom

Hey, I'm back! After a whirlwind summer, I'm back at my desk and ready to work. Or not...

Anyway, my sister got married two weeks ago and I thought I would post the text of my toast. Of course, this didn't come out exactly word-for-word as I had planned, but I think it was pretty good, nonetheless.

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For those of you who don’t know me, my name is Hanione and I’m Sarah’s older sister. I have to say “older” sister because I’m the short one in the family and I don’t want anyone to get confused as to who’s really in charge here. When we were kids, I used to get mad at Sarah for sitting on one foot in the back seat of the car because I thought someone in another car might see us and think she was the oldest because she was the tallest.
Anyway…I thought maybe you’d all like to hear the story of how I got to know Michael. My husband, James, and I live in Pennsylvania, so this all started over the phone. When Sarah first told me about Michael, I could tell she was excited about him because the conversation went something like this:
“So Sarah, Mom tells me you’re seeing somebody.”
“Yeah, he’s really nice and his name is Michael. Actually, it’s Michael James and isn’t that weird because you married a James Michael? Michael James, James Michael. Isn’t that just too weird? And he’s really nice. Did I say he’s really nice?”
“Reece! Relax. Okay, he’s really nice and I’m looking forward to meeting him, but isn’t there anything else you can tell me about him?”
“Well,” she said, “he was home schooled…”
“Oh no!” I thought. My mind raced to all of the obvious questions. What about socialization? Can he play team sports? Has he ever heard of the Beatles? Will he be able to survive in the real world?
Hey wait a minute…I was home schooled. No, I’m not very good at sports and graduate school doesn’t exactly count as the real-world, but I’m alright. I’m alright…
At this point, I knew I wasn’t going to get much more out of Sarah, so I had to do something I never expected I would do in all my life. I had to use my little brother as a romantic informant.
“Hey Jon, what can you tell me about this Michael character?”
“Well,” he said, “He’s pretty good at Halo, if that’s what you mean.”
Actually, in all seriousness, Michael, you owe Jon an everlasting debt of thanks for securing my approval of you. When it came to the important questions, Jon put my heart at ease.
“So, about Michael,” I said. “Does he love the Lord?”
“Yes, definitely.”
“Is he good for Sarah?”
“Yeah, Hanione, they’re great together.”
“Did he laugh when he watched Napoleon Dynamite?”
“Heck yes, he did!”

When I finally did get to meet Michael, I could tell he was special. Last Christmas, James and I had a chance to go out for coffee with Sarah and Michael. Talking to them, I could tell that they inspire and challenge each other. They have already learned to treat each other with kindness, patience, and good humor. And plus, Sarah just sparkles when she looks at him.

Michael, it is my privilege to welcome you to our family. We’re a pretty weird bunch and we did our best to scare you off, but you’re still here, so I honor your bravery.

And now, I hope you will all join me in toast to Sarah and Michael. May you be blessed with abiding faith, deep love, and long lives filled with good friends to share in your joy. Here’s to the bride and groom!