Sandwiches and the Artful Eye
I devoted most of Friday to watching the weather report and trying to decide whether or not we'd be getting hail, high winds, and torrential rain. Weather.com actually had little red boxes around the thunderstorm cartoons to emphasize how dangerous this weather was going to be. Eventually, at the urging of the National Weather Service, we ducked out of work mid-afternoon to go for a run and beat the nasty weather. Then, after all that debating, worrying, planning, emailing, and websurfing, we got absolutely nothing. No hail. No lightning. No flooding. Just a few showers. Granted, it's still raining on Monday afternoon and it hasn't really stopped all weekend, but where's the violence? Where's the carnage? Where are the flying cats?
On Saturday we went for a long run and gorged ourselves at our favorite little bagel shop. Then we had to rush home and spiff ourselves up for a wedding at 12:30. The rest of the day was devoted to eating, drinking, and doing the Cotton-Eyed Joe. We finally crawled into our PJs at about 10:30 and struggled to stay awake through two episodes of Berkeley Square. This riveting period drama follows the stories of three Eduardian Nannies living in London at the turn of the century. These DVDs are seriously good British drama.
Unfortuantely, the BBC cancelled the show after only 10 episodes and the writers didn't tie up all the loose ends. I have so many unanswered questions. Will Ned come back from Somaliland and marry Nanny Wickham? Will Mrs. Bronovski take the fall for Nanny Simmons? Will Mr. Fowler fall in love with sweet Lydia? Will Pringle get her comeuppance? Will Mr. Sinjin realize that the baby is not his? Will Captain Mason marry Isabell and break her heart? Will the Hutchinsens realize that baby Charlie is actually baby Billy? So many questions...
Now back to reality, and today's "Why can't people just do things my way?"
WCPJDTMW #3 -- Sandwiches and the Artful Eye
Some children don't like the crust of the bread on a sandwich. I have always thought these children are picky eaters, but I am beginning to formulate a new theory. Perhaps these children's parents are actually to blame, not because they coddle and spoil their children, but because they don't know how to make a good sandwich. A proper sandwich must have an even distribution of all condiments, spreads, and fillings over the whole surface of the bread. So many people, my husband included, make a half-hearted attempt to spread things around and then slap the bread together. This approach leaves the crusts dry and lacking all the good things that make a sandwich worth eating, like peanut butter or sundried tomato spread. Some parents make up for their lack of care and attention to the sandwich making process by cutting off the crusts and throwing them away, which is a terrible waste. Truly, a properly made sandwich is a beautiful and satisfying thing to behold. Such a meal rises above sustainance and attains the sublime in its mundane perfection and balanced proportions. I suggest you give it a try.
posted by hlrigs @ 2:11 PM
1 Comments:
I tried to post a reply yesterday, (and a very well conceived one I must say), only to make the fatal mistake of previewing it first. Where it went I know not. Alas, let me try again.
When it comes to sandwiches, there's an organized conspiracy to defraud the consuming public. Restaurant sandwiches are constructed in such a way as to make it appear that there's more lunchmeat and cheese than there really is. When you order a sandwich, you'll notice that's it's almost always cut diagonally into two pieces, and then presented sort of open at one end, like the sandwich is hinged. And right there in the middle of the sandwich is the great deception - a wad of meat and cheese, that makes you think that they've really piled on the expensive stuff. If you start right there in the middle, the ratio of delectables to filler (bread, lettuce, condiments...) can be as much as 4:1 by mass or volume (doesn't matter). This only lasts for 2 or 3 bites, at which time the ratio inverts, leaving the diner slightly confused. The only way to eat such a sandwhich is to start at the crust and then work your way toward the middle (which I contend is the best way to eat a PB&J). The only bona fide way to construct a sandwich is to layer all the ungredients uniformally between the two slices of bread - like a layer cake. And while we're on the subject, make sure that the two pieces of bread are aligned properly. No bread is bilaterally symmetrical when sliced across its longitudinal axis. Failure to recognize this makes it more difficult to eat the crusty veneer by itself. Gosh!
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